I seem to be inspired by the phases of the moon now more than ever…maybe because I’ve lived many. I wax and wane and the moon pulls me like the tide. Tomorrow is the full moon following the summer solstice…and it’s no ordinary full moon. It’s a great big beautiful Super Moon, an auspicious time to set intention, release what no longer serves you or the world, and to metaphorically, and literally, dream a new world into being.
My intention is this: to live with more and more creativity and aliveness, more authentically, and without apology.
I want to be more available to serve in whatever way that shows up, and to be the creator of a good life, well lived, for myself, my family, friends, clients and world, from a wide open heart.
To be creative, to be an artist, holds a whole new meaning for me now, as there was a time when I would have said that I was, from an artistic and creative standpoint, a big fat failure. When I was a kid in school, I felt miserably inferior to the friends I had who could draw and paint, who were budding artists in every sense of the word. I was embarrassed by my inability to draw human figures, and paint with imagination and wild abandon. And then there was creative writing! It made me feel vulnerable, it was intimidating and just plain scary. I HATED to write!
In the 7th grade, we had to write a poem and illustrate it, which would then displayed for open house night. I was beyond mortified, and I told my parents I wasn’t going to go…I simply couldn’t face my pitiful offering up on the wall, which, to me, paled in comparison to my classmates…and I couldn’t face the voice of my own relentless, harsh inner critic. But let me tell you, I was a math and science whiz, and I could diagram a sentence and spell and regurgitate anything you asked me to…I was in a straight jacket of conformity and living in a world created by the imagination and imperative of others. I was a timid good girl, living small.
Growing up, I was a dancer, from the age of 5, and it was my world, my artistic realm, yet somehow I didn’t see it as creative expression. It was just what came naturally, and as a ballet dancer, I conformed there, too, trying my best to be technically perfect, with a body to match. I didn’t see dance as creative form till much later…African tribal dancing to live drumming was a transformational experience, and opened up a new, wild world in one glorious afternoon.
I have long since abandoned that straight jacket of never coloring outside the lines, and what freedom it is to refuse to be limited by the opinions of others, or my own hypercritical definition of myself! It took a lot of life experience to shed those shackles.
I discovered that creativity, for me, is anything I say it is.
One day I was in a card shop, and I came upon one that just leveled me, and changed the way I felt about my own creative abilities:
“The most visible creators I know
are those artists
whose medium is life itself–
the ones who express the inexpressible
without brush, hammer, clay, or guitar.
They neither paint nor sculpt,
their medium is simply being.
Whatever their presence touches has increased life–
they see, but don’t have to draw…
because they are the artists of being alive.”
~ J. Stone
Wow, that is the kind of artist I want to be…and can be.
We create and make art in infinite ways: by setting a table, cooking inspired, delicious food, arranging flowers or odd bits and pieces gathered on a walk on the beach or hiking in the woods. We make beautiful altars in our homes, we grow inspired gardens; we write love notes, take photographs, sing and make off-key music together, we make ourselves laugh till we cry.
I will make a fire to celebrate this super June moon, and will release, once more, my self-doubt and resistance, and bring in the artist, with the deepest of intentions that no matter where I go or what I do, my presence will bring more beauty, compassion and aliveness wherever it is needed.
What is your medium? I would love to hear from you.